ST. CROIX — Last week at Davos, Elon Musk joked about buying “pieces” of Greenland. This morning, we have a different proposition for the man who wants to die on Mars: Try living on St. Croix during a WAPA “rotational outage.”
We’ve seen the Tesla Powerpacks in American Samoa. We saw the solar arrays in Kauai. But let’s be honest—those were “easy mode.” If Musk really wants to prove he’s the architect of the future, he should stop playing with toy rockets and look at the U.S. Virgin Islands Water and Power Authority (WAPA).
The Dare
WAPA is the ultimate “Boss Level” for any engineer. It’s a labyrinth of salt-air corrosion, ancient infrastructure, and debt that would make a Twitter acquisition look like a lemonade stand.
Our bet? Elon is too “chicken” to touch it. He’ll talk about colonizing a planet with no oxygen, but he won’t set foot on an island where the “Board of Peace” actually means “praying the lights stay on long enough to finish dinner.” It’s easy to build a grid from scratch in the Texas desert; it’s another thing entirely to fix a system held together by the collective prayers of 100,000 people and a few rusted composite poles.
The “Manna” Strategy
If Musk wants to be the “Manna-Bringer” for the American Paradise, the door is open. We don’t need a “Piece of Greenland.” We need a Peace of Mind. Elon, if you’re reading this from your Gulfstream: We’ve got the sun, we’ve got the wind, and we’ve got a utility grid that is essentially a Basquiat painting of chaos. Come to St. Croix. Fix the “WAPA mess.” Prove you’re not just a “Mainland Fugitive” looking for a tax haven, but a man who can actually make the ice stay frozen in the heat of the Mosquito Coast.
Unless, of course, it’s just too hard for you.